Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mom guilt

First of all I have been reading all of your posts, but I can't comment from work. I am writing this in between dinner and a baseball game...but I read them and want to!

Let me tell you a little about mom guilt. I have it. I have a lot of it. Much of it stems from being a working mom. Being a teacher is great, but needing to run and see your kid do something for a half hour or an hour is no easy feat. At least not for me.

So in the last couple weeks I have missed: Ryan's track meet, Kate's program, Ryan's program, Kate's track meet, and Ryan's first baseball game. Oh and to top it off, I almost sent my dad to Skateland when her party was actually at a bowling alley.

One thing I hate about being a working parent is that I can't drop everything every time I want to in order to support my children. It makes me sad. My kids and what they do mean the world to me. When we decided to have four children I obviously hadn't realized that I can't be in four places at once. Too often I have missed an important hockey game because Brady is napping. Maybe I should schlepp him wherever I go, but I can't do that. It's not fair to him.

So as school is winding down, I am feeling ready to be done. Only I'm not done. I have a seminar the first week of vacation. Then I am traveling with my grant group across the south. It's going to be the best.trip.ever, but again, I'm missing out on being a mom.

Do dad's have dad guilt? No one expects them to stay home and be superdad do they? Can you tell I am emotionally spent? I am. This has been one hell of a stressful school year. I am ready to put the last nine months behind me. I am ready for summer. I am ready to be a mom. I am ready to be super irritated by my fighting kids. I am ready to want to go back to school in the fall..but I'm not there yet. Heck I have an even more stressful year ahead of me next school year.

Maybe I just need a pedicure? Massage? Spa day? Trip to Disney World?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think a trip to Disney World is love over due! You love that place!

Tami

Anonymous said...

Okay, that is supposed to say ong over due!

Tami

Anonymous said...

Seriously I cannot type! LONG overdue!

Tami

Stephanie said...

I don't know how you do as much as you do when you work full time and have a husband and four kids!! Give yourself some credit here. Your kids are not being neglected, because you make an effort to show up every chance you can, and when you cant be there, I am sure Thad or the grandparents are there to cheer them on. Also, I can only imagine as they grow into adults, they too will wonder how you managed to do it all. It will be good for you to get out of town in June and have some fun and just be Bonnie. That just makes you a better mom! Hang in there and don't fall into the guilt trap.

ABCDH said...

You do a LOT of stuff with your kids - they are in tons of activities and I'm sure have lots of friends to play with and parties to go to. Don't forget that you are providing them in a different way. Financially, of course, but also being a teacher is one of the best jobs a Mom could have. You're teaching them that education is important...PLUS...you are home with them in the summer!

Be the change... said...

Mom guilt: SUCKS! Unfortunately we do not have the ability to make it to every event BUT it is good for our children have others there supporting them besides mom. Know that they can count on grandparents, aunts, their friends, and their friends families. You are raising independent, well rounded kids. Give yourself some credit. Not too long from now you will be pulling your hair out because of all your "family time". The cycle goes on and on and on...xoxo

Melissa said...

I concur: Mom guilt stinks.

Vicky said...

You know, my kids who have me at their beck and call practically, still manage to lay on the guilt for the one field trip I don't go on, or the one game I don't go to... they have no idea how much I get to do... but on the flip side for me is the guilt I have over not working outside the home when finances are stretched for us... I have to remind myself that is the sacrifice and trade off I make for spending the time with the kids...

Dr. J said...

I can tell you Dad guilt exists too. I don't get home many nights until almost 8pm, barely enough time to talk to Kate about her day and put her to bed :( Thank God that won't be the case starting in a few weeks!