Sunday, January 27, 2013

I am, I think, I know...with humor

Because we all need to laugh and be a little bit petty at times :)


I am:desperately craving a big fat frosted cookie. Like intensely.
I think: that I would love to have the hair that the Kardashian sisters have.
I know: that I am seriously out of shape
I want: the newest season of Celebrity Apprentice to start, because there is nothing more enjoyable than watching my favorite trainwreck, Gary Busey, on television.
I have: no will power when it comes to frosting.
I dislike: when I miss an episode of anything Kardashian related, because frankly, it's the only thing I watch
I miss: Tom Brokaw being on NBC nightly news. I have a crush on him.
I fear: every day I fear that my pants will be too tight. Often they are.
I feel: like a freak for getting my second ever cold sore eight days ago. It was the size of Mount Saint Helens. 
I hear: bickering kids and SpongeBob...and now crying and yelling. Awesome.
I smell: nothing because the sounds are drowning out all my other senses.
I crave: vacations, money, frosting, bacon, tacos, a nicer body, a bigger bust, quiet, and money
I search: for my sanity. Where the hell did it go?
I wonder: Why Corey Hart wore his Sunglasses at Night. Seriously why?
I regret: That I didn't go to Prince when he came here in 1999.
I love: arguing with my kids because it's so gratifying. Wait...
I care: about celebrity news. A lot. Judge all you want.
I am always: wondering why people post some of the stuff they do on FB.
I worry:  all.the.time. It's a gift.
I remember: clearly the  morning that I woke up with Bell's Paulsy. Seriously what 14 year old gets that?!?!?!
I sing: Not as well as Celine Dion
I argue: Not well.
I write:less than I type
I lose: everything bc I'm not organized enough
I wish: I appreciated when I could eat whatever I wanted when I could. That's not the case anymore.
I listen: to a song and am instantly transported back in time. Normally I correctly guess the year too, because I'm so gifted.
I don't understand: why we still have a dog who pees and poops in our house and has recently ruined our leather couch.
I can usually be found: taking a nap on the weekend if at all possible.
I am scared: running out of coffee, my reflection in the morning, and many other things.
I need: more shoes, a new wardrobe, a stylist, a maid, a life coach, and a personal chef. Basically I need to be Oprah.
I forget: how great 1980s television was. Shows today suck frankly,
I am happy: for heat in the dead of winter.


Care to join me?  Copy and paste if you'd like and let me know- I'd love to come read yours! 

3 comments:

Vicky said...

Ha- love the humor- I can totally hear you saying some of these things :) great job and so fun to read!

Erin said...

This was awesome! Interestingly, it is in reading this that I see how much we have in common.

Damon Swisher said...

Oh this was such a creative idea I love it! Very funny, I think I might want to try it! That being said, I loved reading the rest of your blog too. So I'm nominating you for the Liebster Award! Check it out here: http://www.ifimdamon.blogspot.com/2013/12/liebster-award-nomination.html