My Ryan...

My first baby is 12 years old today. I had to take pictures of pictures to pay a little tribute to him, so pardon the bad photos.

I can't believe how not huge I look when I was almost fully done cooking him! What a difference compared to my last child....

Ryan came into this world after a bed-rest ending to my pregnancy. He was teeny-tiny (no joke). He was in the PICU at 6 weeks. He had horrible health the first couple of years. He has been my "difficult" child without a doubt.

I see a lot of myself in Ryan. He strong will, his inability to be loving with his parents (yes I was that way too), his love of getting a reaction out of his family (ask my parents, I was good at this), his deeply sensitive nature that he preferred no one saw, the way he gets fixated on something he really wants, the way he treats people when we aren't around (in a nice way), and heck, this is the ONE child who shares one genetic match of mine. We have the same eye color. Wow...four kids and that's what I get?? Lucky for them really.

I love this boy to pieces, and I tell him everyday. He never reciprocates those words. It's not his thing. BUT, he still comes into our room every.single.night to sleep on the floor (since August).

He will make me pull my hair out a million more times in my life, but at the same time I couldn't be prouder of his work ethic, his independence, the way he doesn't whine or complain, his self-sufficiency, and the way he treats his baby brother.

Happy Birthday Ryan...I love you so much. :)

PS: don't look at the cake closely. I had a little crisis or two making it .