It's been a year...

I really have no excuse for not blogging for a whole year. Well, I guess I do. You see, there's this thing called work that consumes my days as well as my nights. And then there's this thing called parenting that consumes my days, nights, weekends, and any other minute of the day. And thennnn there's this thing called having a spouse who has worked for over a year now on the night shift. So yeah.
When I began blogging, it was a way to document my life with my kids and keep in contact with loved ones. That was before Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I don't feel the need to reflect on here, because it's more time to type out a lot at once rather than post something quick on one of the above mentioned sites.
Honestly I have some other things to consider now too--my two older children are on social media. I have to respect their privacy or at least their sense of pride.  I can't tell some of the stories I used to post on here, because frankly my kids would flip on me.
So here are some things I will share:
I have a son who is now 14. He is a solid five inches taller than I am and is still growing. People let me tell you that gone are the days of worrying about potty training my 'baby' or him sleeping all night. We have moved on to girls, dealing with letting him go to a girl's house and vice versa, exchanging gifts (YOU wait until your son asks you to buy someone a gift card to PINK), and those issues. I won't say much else, because social media is no longer the place. Dear lord where did by little baby go?
I have a daughter who is 11. In the last 6 months, she has swiftly gone from being the sweet amiable child and turned into.....a girl who is starting to go through 'the change.' She is getting quite tall, has bigger feet than I do, and I am seeing her body transform. Again, I am not ready for this. She has pulled away from me a lot, gained a pretty snippity attitude, and is very into clothes and accessories and makeup. (No I don't allow her to wear make up to school)
I have a daughter who is 8. She is trying to find her place in the world and, I think, in the family. She is by far the most tenderhearted 8 year old I have ever encountered. I have learned how to navigate through her dependence on her mom as well as others. She thrives on one on one interaction. She loves deeply. She expresses all the sweet things that I think, but am often too private to say. She works very hard at school, and we are working on her trusting her self rather than needing constant reinforcement.
Don't get me wrong. She has a lot of friends, is loved by everyone, and is a very good student. She just needs a little extra from some of us.
I have a baby who is five. Okay so he's not a baby anymore, but to me he is. It's so strange. When my oldest was five I thought he was such a big boy. Now I look at my youngest and he seems so small to me. I stand by what I've always said, "If I had the money I would have more kids." Anyway, child #4 is about as whitty, charming, friendly, loving, and boyish as they come. I did not know boys could be so loving and snuggly. I love him so much.
Even though I seem to never blog, I still read other posts by you. Keep doing it. Don't be as big of a loser as I am. And now, after taking this little break, I need to get back to school work!

Only Brady...

I am, I think, I know...with humor

Because we all need to laugh and be a little bit petty at times :)

I am:desperately craving a big fat frosted cookie. Like intensely.

I think: that I would love to have the hair that the Kardashian sisters have.

I know: that I am seriously out of shape

I want: the newest season of Celebrity Apprentice to start, because there is nothing more enjoyable than watching my favorite trainwreck, Gary Busey, on television.

I have: no will power when it comes to frosting.

I dislike: when I miss an episode of anything Kardashian related, because frankly, it's the only thing I watch

I miss: Tom Brokaw being on NBC nightly news. I have a crush on him.

I fear: every day I fear that my pants will be too tight. Often they are.

I feel: like a freak for getting my second ever cold sore eight days ago. It was the size of Mount Saint Helens. 

I hear: bickering kids and SpongeBob...and now crying and yelling. Awesome.

I smell: nothing because the sounds are drowning out all my other senses.

I crave: vacations, money, frosting, bacon, tacos, a nicer body, a bigger bust, quiet, and money

I search: for my sanity. Where the hell did it go?

I wonder: Why Corey Hart wore his Sunglasses at Night. Seriously why?

I regret: That I didn't go to Prince when he came here in 1999.

I love: arguing with my kids because it's so gratifying. Wait...

I care: about celebrity news. A lot. Judge all you want.

I am always: wondering why people post some of the stuff they do on FB.

I worry:  all.the.time. It's a gift.

I remember: clearly the  morning that I woke up with Bell's Paulsy. Seriously what 14 year old gets that?!?!?!

I sing: Not as well as Celine Dion

I argue: Not well.

I write:less than I type

I lose: everything bc I'm not organized enough

I wish: I appreciated when I could eat whatever I wanted when I could. That's not the case anymore.

I listen: to a song and am instantly transported back in time. Normally I correctly guess the year too, because I'm so gifted.

I don't understand: why we still have a dog who pees and poops in our house and has recently ruined our leather couch.

I can usually be found: taking a nap on the weekend if at all possible.

I am scared: running out of coffee, my reflection in the morning, and many other things.

I need: more shoes, a new wardrobe, a stylist, a maid, a life coach, and a personal chef. Basically I need to be Oprah.

I forget: how great 1980s television was. Shows today suck frankly,

I am happy: for heat in the dead of winter.

Care to join me?  Copy and paste if you'd like and let me know- I'd love to come read yours! 

I am, I think, I know

I'm doing this because of Vicky and because these are cathartic. :)

I am: living in thr midst of mountains of work, responsibilities, and feeling very overwhelmed.

I think: always about what need to be done at work, home, and for my kids

I know: that everyone has stress in their life, so I embrace it.

I want: my husband to have normal hours, a cleaning lady, and my children to always know how much I love them.

I have: a full heart and a deep love for coffee.

I dislike: this answer will always be the same: cruelty toward others, selfishness, and bullying

I miss: having an infant in my home, my grandma Ada, youthfulness

I fear: losing my parents, my children, husband, and/or sanity.

I feel: challenged 

I hear: the running washing machine, Calliou on tv, and Peaches

I smell: the wafting aroma left over from Peaches pooping in the house.

I crave: summer heat and sunshine, frosting, and snuggles with my kids.

I search: for ways to cure psoriasis (thanks stress), for information and ideas and answers for AP government,  and recipes.

I wonder: if I am good enough

I regret: missing one child's sports and activities for another's 

I love: my IPhone 5

I care: more than the average person about anything and everything

I am always: feeling guilty and worrying.

I worry:  all.the.time. It's a gift.

I remember: about things to the point that it writes people out.

I sing: less than I used to.

I argue: not well. I dislike conflict and I refuse to argue with my kids, even though its unavoidable.

I write: a lot for work.

I lose: everything bc I'm not organized enough

I wish: my kids were little still

I listen: to music all the time. It soothes me.

I don't understand: some of the AP stuff I teach...ok much of it, how people can be mean, why kids don't appreciate naps, and why bad things have to happen to people.

I can usually be found: work, home, or in my car

I am scared: of vomit

I need: to be more appreciative of the fact that I have a job I love, a beautiful family, and that I am blessed. I also need to stop worrying what others think of me.

I forget: few things

I am happy: for all I have 

Care to join me?  Copy and paste if you'd like and let me know- I'd love to come read yours! 

Whoops

I didn't anticipate Thad's job change when I vowed to blog more. Unfortunately I simply don't have much down time anymore. Nights are hectic with him working and so I haven't quite blogged as much as I want to.
Here's a recap:
1. The kids are well.
Brady is Brady. When he is overtired (M-F) he is CRAZY. His exhaustion turns into wild behavior. We just go with it. He had strep a couple of weeks ago and I loved snuggling with him more than usual. He is my honey, and he is my forever baby.
2.  Olivia is doing well. She recently got glasses for a problem focusing. Her vision per se is fine, but focusing on words close up isn't so easy for her. She has complained almost daily of headaches, so the goal is to reduce those. I am learning, however, that Olivia seems to have some sort of daily crisis. In fact, she talks to her teacher daily about a headache, tummy ache, or some ailment. I am working with her on not always discussing her issues, but....not sure what will happen.
She is a mini Bonnie (clearly not in looks) but in her ability to cry very, very, very easily. I don't do that anymore, but if she is scolded, tears flow. As my dad says, Olivia doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She is kind beyond belief.
3. Kate is becoming a sass. I can tell she is starting the earliest of transitions toward those lovely tween years. She continues to love to drive me crazy, yet I rely on her more than her big brother to help with Brady if I need to run an errand. She is still searching for that perfect hobby to make her happy. She is dancing twice a week but says she won't next year. She plays viola but says she won't next year. Get the pattern?
4. Ryan is busy non stop. I can't even believe all he does and has energy for, yet I never wanted to hang out home. He and Thad leave in two days for Roseau for the weekend. He decided he needed to wash all his clothes on his own, pack already, and get all his homework done. Hello! Hockey practices are at an early 6:30am, so we leave the house around 5:50 to get him there. Well I do. Thad is sleeping. :)

Thad is out of town as we speak, and will be gone again in a few weeks. I am panicking a bit, because next week I start teaching the class last year that about did me in. I am starting over again b/c I can't remember a darn thing from last year! So my nights will be kids and then work.

Other random thoughts:
I miss some of Ryan's games due to the time. I won't keep my kids up late for that. I hate missing them, but I am a parent to all my kids, not just one. I worry that other parents think I'm not interested in his games. Not true.
I know (because I just do) that I have adult ADD. It's bad. I can't focus on one thing. Ever.
Kate does hand stands all the time. Is it some sort of stress reliever??? Who knows....
Peaches pees in our house every.single.day. What should we do? We let her out. A lot. She pees on beds too.
If I can do two loads of laundry a day I feel like I am doing ok. Rarely this happens.
Ninety percent of the time my house looks like a bomb went off in it.
Ninety five percent of the time I have a child who has crawled in my bed. Lately it's always Olivia. If it's not her, it's Brady.
I have one child (Olivia) who is a nail biter. Any tips on how to get her to stop? Funny, her sister has the fastest growing nails of anyone I know.
I am always cooking new food and at least two of the kids will like. Never do three or all four like them. It's annoying and exhausting.
I'm exhausted.

So it goes

Last week after a couple of months of preparing a resume, testing, and interviewing, Thad was promoted to a sergeant position at the police department. This means no more juvenile detective, no more M-F (I say that loosely because that wasn't the reality with that job either, and back to life with a shift worker. (more on this in a bit)
He was sworn in last Friday. Kate had been sick all week, and for as nice as she looks in the photo, she was still quite miserable. The police chief spoke briefly, gave a brief bio on each officer (two were promoted to sergeant and one to lieutenant), and then the wives pinned the new badge on our spouses. You can guess who had issues pinning her spouse. Yes me.

I am so proud of Thad. The reality is, he couldn't see himself dealing with the crimes he was for another fifteen years. I still think he was the best man for that job, but you grow exhausted and jaded (more jaded) by hearing what horrible things happen to juveniles.
He started his new position last night. He is working 4pm-1am. Basically we don't see Thad now. This could last until March where he may move to the midnight shift, or there is a strong possibility he will stay on evenings indefinitely. How we are going to coordinate nightly activities for the kids and weekend travel for hockey, baseball, and dance is not clear to me. It will get done. For those who have asked, this is not a M-F position. It's five on and three off. I've been lucky that he has had a somewhat M-F schedule since Olivia was born. Two kids, many more activities, and lots of homework later, it will work out. My mother is my personal angel. She helps out with all the kids, driving places when I can't, and is a savior.
I have a job where many kids dislike cops. I get that. I never felt that way, but I certainly feared them. Like I tell my students though, "You wouldn't hate them if you had to call 911 and you had someone trying to break into your house, there was a crisis at school, or in any emergency." Both of our jobs, as of late, have proved to be potentially dangerous. It's a new and scary time, and I have no answers.
I will say that I LOATHE reading people on Facebook (why do I still have an account?!?!?) writing how guns are the problem, mental health is the problem, banning guns is ridiculous, we need prayer in schools and that's why this happens (what??), etc.
Seriously if there was one reason, you'd think we would have solved it by now. We can only do our best to teach our children right from wrong, to defend people who aren't being treated well, and hope that nothing terrible happens to them. That probably sounds lame, but I just don't know what to say.
What I can tell you is that highlight of my night last night (insert massive sarcasm) was when Olivia came down crying not only because Kate woke her up, BUT also woke her to tell her about the rampage in CT. Seriously??! Oh I was mad...fuming...
Yes my kids still drive me crazy. :)

Sweet Olivia

She has a plan should Thad (or I) become President of the United States.